Seasons change, friendships come and go, time passes, but the one thing that we knew for sure would be forever? Our zodiac signs. The stars in the sky — and our birthdays — are permanent. Unfortunately, NASA did not get the memo.
Apparently, earlier this year, NASA quietly announced they were just going right ahead and changing the whole zodiac system without even asking anyone. They assigned new dates to each zodiac sign AND an entire fake sign has been added. Thanks to NASA, the world is in a panic.
NASA had to shake up all our lives because the Earth is a little different from the way it was back when the Babylonians created the zodiac we knew and loved. “Now, 3,000 years later, the sky has shifted because Earth’s axis (North Pole) doesn’t point in quite the same direction,” the NASA explanation says.
And in order to make their zodiac calendar seem perfect (12 month calendar, 12 zodiac signs, one sign for each month — you get it) the Babylonians straight up ignored a 13th constellation, and NASA has taken it upon themselves to set things “right.” So, for those born between November 29 and December 17, meet your “new” sign: Ophiuchus… seriously. You are a guy holding a snake, and your standout traits are a penchant for seeking knowledge and being envied by your peers.
For the rest of you, check out the new dates for each sign, which we will ignore moving forward.
Aries: April 18 – May 13
The Ram: courageous, passionate, impulsive
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
The Bull: reliable, devoted, stubborn
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
The Twins: curious, gentle, indecisive
Cancer: July 20 – Aug 10
The Crab: imaginative, sympathetic, manipulative
Leo: Aug 10 – Sept 16
The Lion: cheerful, generous, arrogant
Virgo: Sept 16 – Oct 30
The Virgin: analytical, hardworking, shy
Libra: Oct 30 – Nov 23
The Scales: social, fair-minded, self-pitying
Scorpio: Nov 23 – Nov 29
The Scorpion: resourceful, brave, distrusting
Ophiuchus: Nov 29 – Dec 17
The Serpent Bearer: Knoweldge-seeking, admired, envied
Sagittarius: Dec 17 – Jan 20
The Centaur: idealistic, humorous, impatient
Capricorn: Jan 20 – Feb 16
The Goat: disciplined, responsible, condescending
Aquarius: Feb 16 – March 11
The Water Bearer: independent, humanitarian, temperamental
Pisces: March 11 – April 18
The Fish: artistic, compassionate, weak-willed